Shinobi Rules
by serialhugger
Summary: Requestfic. Ebisu & a few of the rules he lives by.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Shinobi Rules

**Author:** Smurf

**Summary:** Requestfic. Ebisu's self-inflicted rules.

**Disclaimer:** Serialhugger doesn't own Naruto or any of the trademarks or licences related thereof, no money has exchanged hands; please don't sick lawyers on us; we'll only assimilate them.

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**A Very Brief Introduction:**

There were rules common to every shinobi, things like always keep your weapons in good repair, and never eat anything of which you are unsure. Ebisu made sure to follow those rules closely, they were often the only thing standing between a shinobi and an avoidable death. There were other rules, personal rules, which Ebisu lived by; it's these rules upon which we will focus.

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Hugs & Oreos


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Shinobi Rules

**Author:** Smurf

**Summary:** Requestfic. Ebisu's self-inflicted rules.

**Disclaimer:** Serialhugger doesn't own Naruto or any of the trademarks or licences related thereof, no money has exchanged hands; please don't sick lawyers on us, we'll only assimilate them.

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**Chapter 1:**

**Rule 3: Always wear dark glasses. **

_This rule existed in part to the fact that his eyes were very sensitive to light due to an accident when on an away mission as a gennin. And, in part, because the dark lenses, not only protected his eyes from the light, but from shrapnel and other flying debris during combat._

_Ebisu's glasses weren't just an accessory, they were a ninja tool, one of his most important._

_*** *** ***_

"Ebisu," Iyo's voice sounded close, but he couldn't be sure, his eyes refused to focus properly, all he saw were blobs of light and dark, "Ebisu, are you okay?"

"… I can't see… I can't see!" if ever there was a time to panic, this was it. They were under attack in unfamiliar territory, and he was down one of his five senses.

"Shit," apparently she was closer than he had thought, because he felt her hands on either side of his face. "Sensei! Ebisu's eyes were damaged by that last blast!"

"Perfect!" sarcasm dripped from the older woman's tongue. "Iyo, take him and head for the border! Get to Fire Country as fast as you can; Gai, Tsumon, you take the scroll and head to Konoha, use a different route than Iyo. I'll follow later."

"Yes!" three voices, Iyo, Gai, and Tsumon chorused. Two sets of footsteps headed to the left, Iyo helped him to his feet, and they took off to the right, leaving the instructor of team five alone in the Land of Rain.

Three days later, Ebisu was in the Konoha hospital alongside Iyo. Her injuries were minor, a sprained wrist, and a few bruises; they'd heal on their own in a week or so. His eyes though would require an operation and specialized care; even then, it was uncertain if his eyes would heal properly or not.

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Hugs & Oreos!

Smurf


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Shinobi Rules

**Author:** Smurf

**Summary:** Requestfic. Ebisu's self-inflicted rules.

**Disclaimer:** Serialhugger doesn't own Naruto or any of the trademarks or licences related thereof, no money has exchanged hands; please don't sick lawyers on us, we'll only assimilate them.

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**Chapter 2:**

**Rule 2: Never anger Anko when she's been drinking.**

_This rule was just common sense. Alcohol and an angry Anko was not a good combination. Ebisu had learned this at the tender age of eighteen, when he had made a comment that the snake woman had misinterpreted and wound up in the hospital._

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"I fail to see the humour in this situation," Ebisu grumped from where he lay on his stomach on an examination table.

"What the hell did you say to her, to piss her off so bad Ebisu?" Kakashi snickered again.

"I offered to walk her home," the dark haired ninja winced as a medic applied a salve to his abused posterior. "She thought I meant it as… an advance," he settled on the word.

Kakashi's visible eye crinkled into an inverted U shape.

"I'm glad to see this amuses you Hatake, because you're paying for my prescription." Ebisu levelled the masked man with a look over the rims of his dark glasses.

"Wha-? Hey! That ointment is expensive, and besides you're the one that pissed her off," Kakashi protested.

"And you're the one who taught her about the Thousand Years of Pain."

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**Hugs & Oreos  
**_Smurf_


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Shinobi Rules

**Author:** Smurf

**Summary:** Requestfic. Ebisu's self-inflicted rules.

**Disclaimer:** Serialhugger doesn't own Naruto or any of the trademarks or licences related thereof, no money has exchanged hands; please don't sick lawyers on us, we'll only assimilate them.

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

**Rule 1: Be polite to those working the mission desk.**

_It surprised him how many of his fellow leaf-nin still hadn't caught on to this particular rule. The mission room staff had the power to send you on missions that seemed tailor made to make you miserable. A perfect example of this was the time Morino Ibiki had insulted Izumo, causing Kotetsu to take it upon himself to send the special jounin on a mission to the capital where he was forced to pass himself off as a transvestite in one of the city's lower class brothels._

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Ebisu stood in line behind the mountain of a man that was Morino Ibiki. "The capital?" the scarred man glanced across the desk at Kotetsu. "The writing is smudged," he frowned slightly, "It says I'll be going to the capital, posing as… and then someone's spilled coffee on it."

"Ah," Kotetsu took the scroll back from Ibiki looking it over for a long moment. "Oh, right. I remember this one." There was something in Kotetsu's eyes that made Ebisu very uncomfortable, something mischievous and maybe just a little bit evil.

"Well?" the large framed special jounin pressed. "What is it supposed to say?"

"You'll be going to the capital, Morino-san, to a place called the Hen House," at the larger man's confused look Kotetsu explained. "It's a low class brothel."

"And I'll be posing as a customer?"

"No, Morino-san," the chunin's eyes glinted. "You'll be posing as one of the prostitutes."

Ebisu watched as Ibiki gaped at the smaller chunin, and shook his head. Ibiki really should have known better than to have pissed off the people who handed out the mission scrolls. Some ninja, just never learned.

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**Hugs & Oreos  
**Smurf


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